I’ll share some basic ass advices on how to get over your ex if you got dumped. Take it with a grain of salt as always, because I’m not a psychologist nor a professional of any kind in this area. Talking from my own experiences.

What to do

Go into no contact. 

Incredibly important step, don’t underestimate it.

Just like they say – out of sight, out of mind.

 There are two main reasons to do this in my opinion.

First, do it out of respect for yourself – we don’t go to places where we’re clearly not welcome. Same thing goes for relationships, if somebody doesn’t want you, ya gone! You deserve better than sticking around somebody who left you.

Second, do it out of respect for that person and their choice. I learned this from a horrible experience with an ex of mine. I broke up with him but he could not accept it whatsoever so he harassed and stalked me for over six months. I remember desperately wanting to be left the fuck alone. I cried myself to sleep pretty much everyday and ever since then I promised myself to never be anything like him. So, if a person wants to go, LET them go. It’s not your place to change their mind, it’s theirs.

Get a new hobby.

The most basic bitch advice lol, but it actually helps so much! It doesn’t have to be anything complex; you can craft simple things or learn a new skill. Last time I went through this shit, I tried learning how to juggle lol. Wasn’t too successful with it but it served the purpose.

Work out!

I swear it’s THE game changer. Plot twist is that in this case you work out not to get fit but it sure is a great bonus. Physical activity has been scientifically proven to make a positive impact on your mood and energy levels. Just try it! Doesn’t have to be anything hard, just something you know you would enjoy. For me it’s yoga, I love practicing headstands and I feel great about myself afterwards.

Change your appearance.

Don’t get too impulsive though, give it some thought, ‘cause bangs don’t grow back fast! I like to give myself a week – if in a week I still want to do it, I do it.

Focus on your career.

Work, work, work. Gets your mind away from the relationship, benefits your bank account, seems like a win-win to me.

My top tip on forgetting a boyfriend – get a new crush.

I don’t mean rebound, those are a no-no, don’t get yourself hurt. I mean a harmless crush on a celebrity, YouTube star or a dude from a completely different city. That’ll help you shift focus onto another person and basically give yourself a breather.

People often recommend to focus on YOU, and I completely agree, but it does help a hell of a lot to add some hottie into the picture!

Also, I would suggest to get a professional advice – therapists are there for a reason.

BIG FAT DON’TS

Don’t listen to sad music.

Clearly it won’t make you feel better. Same goes for sad movies and also romantic ones. Been there, done that. Makes you spiral into darkness.

Don’t drink

Alcohol is a depressant and it ain’t what you need right now.

Especially the first few weeks, they’re the hardest. There is no cure for broken heart other than time.

Don’t call/text your ex.

You’re only going to hurt yourself. There is nothing you can say that will change anything, especially nor right after the breakup.

Don’t blame yourself.

It’s a deep hole of despair you don’t wanna go into. I’ve made this mistake so many times it’s not even funny. Don’t put this weight on your shoulders, I know it is super easy to beat yourself up, to think that it’s all your fault but you must let it go. At the end of the day you are the only person that is always there for you, 24/7. Be your own support system.

Don’t ask mutual friends about his life.

Also, try not to talk to your friends about this too much. They’ll want to help you and will probably mess with your head even more by accident. Countless times I’ve gotten advice from my pals that ended up making things worse for me.

Don’t stalk him on social media.

What in the hell are you expecting to see there? Nothing useful, nothing helpful, only more pain and sadness, I promise. So, don’t. Don’t. I know you want to. But don’t.

Don’t get into another relationship right away.

You’re not ready and it will be absolutely unfair to the new person. Heal yourself. Be self-sustainable, independent, have all the fun first. Love will find you when you expect it the least. Cliche, I know, but it’s the truth nonetheless.

Don’t appear to be sad online.

No sad quotes, no crying emojis. It is totally okay to be sad, of course, but don’t parade it, I’m begging you.

Don’t go places where you’ve been together if that’s possible.

Memories suck. Have a dinner at a new place; if you cook at home change the menu! Go to a different gym, different movie theater, I would suggest even taking a different route when you’re going on a run or walking your dog. Create fresh, new, shiny memories!

Don’t shit talk your ex to other people.

It isn’t cute and it isn’t respectful. You’re gonna sound incredibly bitter and insecure. Let go of it.

UNLESS they were abusive towards you, but that is a totally different conversation. Also, please don’t be afraid to press charges if needed!

There is a life after breakup. This might sound obvious, but when you’re in pain the vision of the future is blurry. You have to breathe and take it one day at a time, it gets better. I promise.